Is this really happening??

   

 My sunroom has been takin over with totes, piles of clothes, cosmetics, beach towels, food items, and all things related to our trip coming up next week. Wait- NEXT week??? Yep, it's next week.  Four days. Wow. I'm still trying to process it all, and trying to allow the thought to register in my brain. I'm guessing it won't hit me completely until I step off the airplane, on Ghanian soil. Oh how I long for that moment!

  I find myself often throughout the day asking myself "Is this really happening?? Is one of my biggest dreams really going to come true??" Yes, it sure is. I consider it a huge privilege to be going with my little family to a place that I have grown to love so dearly. I have been so blessed with how God continues to work out the details for us, made it possible for us to take this amazing trip, and for how He has so abundantly blessed the hubby with work. But along with the sheer excitement come many fears, worries, and doubts. "How will it be as a married person, instead of single staff? Where will I fit in?" I know that I won't be able to do what I most enjoyed in Ghana: spend lots of time with the orphanage children and help teach in the school."Am I crazy taking a baby to a third world country? What if she cries the whole 10 hr flight? What if she gets malaria? What if she doesn't adapt well to the culture? What if she refuses to eat the food that is available there? What if she doesn't sleep well?" (sleeping in strange places has become a big challenge lately) We will be interacting with a young couple we have never met before. "What if we don't get along? What if they don't like us?" And then there are deeper questions. Questions I ask myself even here, where I am now in life. "I am so human, so weak. Can I really do this? Can God really use me, despite my sinfulness, selfishness, and weaknesses? What if what is required of me is too much, more than I can handle?" I don't feel like I'm at the point that I want to/need to be spiritually.. so far from it. "Can God still use me??" Plus, there's the idea of leaving Ghana again. Gotta face that too, even though it's oh so difficult. And it's so hard to think about this time. Now that I'm married and have a family, my chances of going back are very, very small. "HOW will I leave it all again? What if I never return? What if it takes me months to find my place in America again?" Ok, I can't think of it any more. Too hard.

    The journey has begun in my life, even before we begin the long journey of traveling thousands of miles across the ocean. These questions are also relevant in life here.. but they've become more real in the past few weeks. God has been telling me over and over "I will be with you, each and every step of the way. Yes, it isn't the safest place to take a baby, but I will protect her and care for her in ways not possible for you. Yes, it will be different as a married person, but you will adjust, you will find your place, and you will learn to love that place. Yes, learning to know this couple will be a big part of the journey, especially since it will be only you 2 couples and one single person (at this point) but again, I will be with you. Perhaps I will have to teach you many things about relationships on the mission field again, as I have before, but it will be worth it. Yes, you are human, weak, selfish, and all that, but again, I WILL be with you. I need you to help in My Kingdom. I can use you in more ways than you can imagine, and I will draw you to Myself. I  will never give you more than you can handle; when you are weak, then I am strong. Yes, it will be very painful to say goodbye again, but I WILL be with you, just as I was the other 3 times. You WILL adjust, find your place again, even if it takes months." 

   Oh how grateful I am that God can use me, and not just in Ghana, but wherever He places me in life! People ask me if I'm excited to go to Ghana. YES! So very excited! But my heart is still heavy with the thought. I've done this before, I've dealt with the adjustments, the culture changes, the climate changes, the painful goodbyes, and I know how difficult it is. Those times were the most difficult in my life. But they were so worth it. Completely. I'd do it all again. Going to a different country and becoming familiar with a different culture, and allowing your heart to become so attached is such a tremendous opportunity and so very worth it. If you ever get the chance, DO IT. You will never be the same.

   We would appreciate your prayers in the next few days as we pack, try to remember all the important things to take along and  important things to do before we leave. Pray for peace in our hearts, and an openness to what God has in store for us during this time. Pray that our visas will arrive before we leave. That the little girl will sleep well on the flight, and that we will be able to receive the bassinet we requested. (without it we will be holding a squirmy, crying little person who is becoming a pro at fighting sleep) And of course, pray for safety on our trip. We are grateful for every prayer you send heavenward on our behalf-we will need many of them!